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Once the invitations have been sent, the wedding bells have rung, the honeymoon is over, and you’re starting to settle into the bliss of life as a newlywed, there is still one more item left to check off on your Wedding To-Do List.
The Thank You Cards.
So many people are taking the time, money, and care to shower you with nuptial blessings, and the appropriate response, of course, is to say “Thank You!” That being said, it can be a rather daunting task when you have to say thank you to hundreds of people in an individual and personal way that fully expresses your gratitude.
But do not fear! I’ve compiled a list of all the things you need to know to help you and your hubby get through this final stage of the wedding!
Weddings are so exciting, but they can also be very stressful because of all of the things that have to be done. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when faced with the task of writing hundreds of thank you notes.
But before you start feeling resentful towards all the cards you “HAVE TO” write, ask yourself this question: Am I really complaining about people giving me gifts?
Remember that you GET TO receive the blessings of others, and in return, you GET TO give thanks back!
The great thing about writing wedding thank you notes, according to one writer at American Greetings, is that “you get to re-live your special day over again and think of all the wonderful people in your lives.”
So do your best to spend this time being grateful for each item you received.
In a world full of digital technology where messages can be sent with just a few taps on a keyboard… is it really necessary to send paper cards anymore? Wouldn’t it be cheaper to go digital and just send an email or text?
Those are great questions!
My answer, of course, is yes! Hand-written notes for wedding gifts are pretty much essential in my books. They show more intentionality than digital messages because they take more effort to send.
It’s a small gesture on an individual level, but it makes a big impact and gives your guest something physical to hold onto as a memory of your wedding. And I should also mention that thank you notes don’t have to be long, either. Just a sentence or two is usually enough to convey your gratitude (and I’ll tell you an easy way to do that towards the end of this blog post).
And when it comes to cost, there are a lot of options for different pierce ranges. Custom thank you notes that match your invitations are a great option! (That’s what my husband and I did for our wedding.)
But I know that custom designs might not fit everyone’s budget. If you’re looking to save on stationery costs, feel free to send me an email email@example.com to ask about my bulk sale pricing on thank you notes.
Or you can always opt for some bulk packs of thank you notes from Amazon like these sets of 100 cards for less than $30: Gold Foil Thank You Notes or Greenery Thank You Notes. (These are affiliate links, and I may receive commissions from qualifying purchases.)
The most important thing about thank you notes is the sentiment behind them!
So now you’ve got the right attitude, and you’re ready to write them by hand. How do you determine who gets a note?
Proper etiquette says that if someone comes to your wedding, they should get a note. It doesn’t matter if they give you a gift or not. It’s always a good gesture to say thank you, to let your guests know that you appreciate them taking time out of their day to celebrate with you!
Confession: My husband and I weren’t aware of that specific etiquette when we got married, so we only wrote notes to people who gave us gifts. Oops.
As far as how long do you have to get all those envelopes in the mail… it’s a bit of a toss-up. I’ve heard that newlyweds have up to a whole year to 6 months to even 2 months after their wedding! Personally, I think the sweet spot is 3-4 months after the wedding, and I definitely encourage you and your spouse to get them done sooner rather than later.
Here are a few ways to help you tackle this big project together and get those cards finished quickly!
“The invitations set the stage for your wedding, giving your guests a taste of the style and decorum to expect.” This is a lesson I learned when I worked at a wedding & party invitation shop during my college years.
There’s enough in that one statement for a whole different blog post, which I won’t try to get into here, but the gist is that your wedding invitations are the perfect time to indicate if you’re going for a rustic wedding in a barn (very popular here in Tennessee), an urban wedding in a unique location, or a traditional wedding in a Chapel.
Your thank you notes are a great opportunity to emphasize the theme again, which will help your guests remember their special memories from your wedding!
And that’s why I always like to include matching thank you notes when I do custom invitation designs for wedding invitations.
My husband and I did that for our wedding, and we opted to do a simple design that matched our invitations but didn’t specifically mention the wedding. That way we could use any extra note cards as personal stationery long after the wedding was over.
Regardless of how you purchase your thank you cards, I do encourage you to get them at the same time you order your invitations. That way you can get started on notes as soon as gifts start arriving (I’ll talk more about that in a little bit).
You’ll also be less likely to procrastinate on your thank you notes after the wedding if you already have the stationery on hand.
Keeping track of your gifts in an organized list as you receive them, will save you a lot of time and headaches!
There are many ways to make a Gift Tracker. Keep a written list on a piece of paper or in a wedding planning journal or go digital with a spreadsheet on your computer. Do whatever works for you.
Wedding website sites (like theknot.com) make it pretty easy to log your gifts as a part of your guest list. I chose this option because it kept all of my guests’ names, addresses, and the gifts they gave in one place that I could easily access on my phone (with the app) or on my computer. When it came time to write my notes, I just exported the guest list as a CSV file and printed the list out for me and my husband to cross off as we finished our notes.
If I could give my past self one additional piece of advice for my engagement, I would say: “Start writing notes as soon as the first gifts arrive!”
With the continued rise of online registries, a lot of gift-givers opt to send their wedding gifts directly to your house, which means a lot of your gifts will be spread out over your whole engagement.
Take my advice and simply write your thank you cards as they arrive on your doorstep. You could end up cutting the list of cards you need to write after the wedding in half!
I seriously wish I had done this during my engagement! Writing 1-3 notes in a day would have been so much better than writing 30-50 in a night!
Even if you do write your notes as the gifts come, I would still make sure to log the gifts you receive into your Gift Tracker. It’s a great way to help you remember who gave you which gift long after the wedding is over.
Don’t forget that you don’t have to write all these notes by yourself! These gifts are just as much for you as they are for your fiancé/spouse, and so this is a project you should tackle together!
And unless you are having a very small, intimate wedding with just your closest friends and family, you also should plan on writing your notes in multiple sessions. If you have 100 guests or more, your hands are going to get tired, and you will need some breaks.
Set up a few card-writing dates with your boo, pop in your favorite movie to play in the background, and get to writing! Set goals to finish X number of cards during each session, that way you know when you can put the pens down!
When it comes to writing thank you cards in bulk, this is going to be the best time-saving trick up your sleeve!
By using a fill-in-the-blank template for your notes, you’ll never waste time trying to figure out what to write because it’s already written for you. Eliminate the guesswork, and just focus on putting the words on the paper.
The key to these note templates is to have one ready for each type of gift you receive. For example, a gift from your registry, a cash gift, or a donation towards your honeymoon fund or charity of your choice.
For physical gifts, the template should acknowledge the gift (remember to be specific), and state what you like about the gift or how you’ll use it.
For cash gifts or gift cards, you don’t need to worry about saying how much the gift was. Instead, focus on what you plan to use the money for (or what you’ve already spent it on!).
Similarly, a honeymoon fund donation gift should let the gift giver know what special activities you’re looking forward to for the honeymoon (or which activities you enjoyed the most). And a charity donation gift can simply acknowledge what you love about the charity and how the money will be used to do amazing things!
When you’re writing notes, I recommend starting your notes by thanking the guests for celebrating with you on your wedding day (if they actually attended), which means you will want to keep track of who signed your guest book. And you should close all of your notes with a compliment to the gift-giver and, if possible, make a personal connection with them.
My husband and I used this tactic, and I received several compliments for our notes. One woman specifically told me that she really appreciated that my note specified the gift she gave because it made her feel special. She said she’s received other more generic thank you notes from other couples before, and they are nice, but they don’t hold quite as much emotion or gratitude as a more personal note. I’m really glad we took the time to do that for our guests!
Here are the two fill-in-the-blank wedding thank you notes that my husband and I used the most while writing our cards. Feel free to copy, paste, and customize them! For more templates, check out my other blogpost: 15 Templates for Your Wedding Thank You Notes.
Physical Gift Thank You Note
Gift Card Thank You Note
Side Note: Don’t worry about picking a different purchase item when you’re writing the gift card note. When my husband and I wrote our notes, we simply repeated some of the bigger items we bought on Amazon, like our Microwave/Air Fryer and the big lamp we picked out for our living room, that way our guests would know they helped contribute to something big!
I hope these tips help you in this wonderful stage of your life! If you ever have any questions or just need to vent about wedding stress, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Seriously! I'd love to hear from you and share a TON of great wedding and marriage tips that I've learned along the way!